Reality check #4

Am I acting out of fidelity to my values, with all needed courage?
If not, why not?
Am I acting out of fear?  Fear of what?   
Fear, such as fear of embarrassment, can seem so slight it seems like something else.
Am I avoiding the discomfort of growth?

Thinking about responses

When I respond inwardly - positively or negatively - to someone or something, do I pay attention to my response?  Do I question it?  Do I learn from it?  
Who's responsible for my response?  Does my perception of responsibility for my response affect whether and how I show it or share it?  How might the way I show or share my response improve the situation or the relationship at hand? 

Something of God

I recently read Go Set A Watchman, by Harper Lee.  It is a story of twenty-something Jean Louise - "Scout" - Finch's return to her small Alabama hometown in the early 1950's and her confrontation with life there, particularly with her father, Atticus.  I liked the book very much.  For those who have not read the book yet, I'll just say this.
Many people - including Quakers like me - believe that there is something of God in every person.  Those of us who so believe ought to expect that the something-of-God in others is not always going to come to the same conclusion as we do, even given the same facts, let alone to express that conclusion as we would prefer.  We ought to be open to such differences.
When we dislike, distrust, are offended by, or do not understand what someone says or does, let us pause, appeal to that something-of-God in ourselves, and consider whether what the other has said or done came from an effort to honor that something-of-God in her or in him.  If it did, respect and love will be at hand, and it will be easier to be candid, to disagree, to debate, and to strengthen the relationship.

Reality check #3

Does my inward response to the person or situation at hand include fear, insecurity, judgment (of self or others), anger or impatience? Why?
Is my outward response to the person or situation at hand thoughtful and authentic?  If not, why not? 
What am I mainly trying to accomplish with this person or in this situation?  Is that goal consistent with my core values?

Forgiveness, permission and ethics.

"Forgiveness is easier to get than permission."  When I first heard that saying, I thought it was so witty!  Better still, it's often true, particularly in large organizations like the one for which the fellow from whom I first heard it worked.  It's a clever rationale for doing what seems practical, though unorthodox, if one's motives are good - especially if the outcome is good.  But the saying hasn't worn well for me because it could also be simply an excuse for doing what one wants despite being unable to get appropriate permission or consent.  It could even divert one from considering whether the desirability of permission or consent, and the need for forgiveness, are two big warnings that one is about to cross an ethical boundary.

November 1, 2015

In matters of personal finance, there is one simple, fundamental principle:

Keep expenses below income.

In matters of the spirit, there is a parallel principle:

Live within past graces.

By that I mean, use and share graces already received, seek and appreciate graces previously unnoticed, and be thankful for them all.

To live in the expectation of future grace, let alone to count on it – individually or as a society - to keep us from the consequences of ignorance, folly or self-righteousness, is to deny grace by changing its nature into payment of some divine debt.

By living within past graces, being content with them and joyful and grateful for them, we honor the miracle of grace and its Source. 

Better still, by sharing with others what we have received by grace we become agents of grace - and more sensitive to its presence.