Monday, July 21, 2025

Choosing gratitude over self-pity

It's natural to want things, even to yearn for things; to want more and to want it now. 

It's even natural to feel justified - to feel entitled to have what one desires - and to express those feelings or otherwise to reveal them. 

However, particularly in a relationship, while honesty is important, it is at least as important to convey appreciation for what one has rather than to grumble or pout about what one lacks, let alone to blame one's partner for what one lacks.  

It is important to cultivate patience and perspective.

Imagine living with someone who often communicates wanting more, entitlement to more, and frustration or disappointment in not having more - more of anything, let alone more from you, particularly more attention, affection, effort, sex, or money.  

For the success and happiness of a relationship, it is important not to be the person who experiences such a complaining, entitled, frustrated, or blaming partner - and not to be that partner.  

As many have said, life is difficult.*  Not dwelling on self-pity, frustrations and disappointments, but instead cultivating and conveying, in words and deeds, gratitude for what one has is essential to a good life and joyful relationships.

 

* I recommend The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck, M.D.