August 10, 2025

 Yesterday I attended the funeral mass for a dear friend who was an Episcopalian Bishop and writer of lyrics of hymns of praise. The rituals of worship, gratitude and inspiration at Hartford's Christ Church Cathedral, home to a parish going back to 1762, were ancient, beautiful, and eloquent.

We Quakers have rituals, too.  We don't have processions, vestments, holy communion, smoke, music, or choirs. We sit here in our quiet, different way of worshipping, and seeking a deeper relationship with, and commitment to, that of God within ourselves, each other, and people everywhere.

Ultimately, though, as expressed by a holy person of yet another faith, Baba Ram Dass, "we're all just walking each other home."

 

July 27, 2025

This morning I finished reading The Varieties of Religious Experience. Again. The book – a series of lectures given by William James, a psychologist and physician, in 1902 – is a classic for good reason. I knew of the book long before I read it for the first time last year.  I found it so deep and so powerful that I simply read it again.[*]

The author applies the scientific method rigorously to the study of matters of a spiritual nature in the human psyche, their importance to the individuals who experience them and, through those people, to human society.

The author asserts that human experiences – religious experiences in particular – though unverifiable by ruler, scale, EKG, microscope or camera, are objectively real in that they have real effects on the people who have them and, by the individual and collective actions produced by spiritual experiences, real effects on humanity as a whole.  The fact that one learning of such an experience has never had a similar experience does not entitle a person of intellect and integrity to deny or discredit the described experience.   

James measures the value of such experiences by the degree of benefit to the person who has them, such as joy, discipline, and wholesome qualities and actions; and by the degree of benefit to humanity when such experiences motivate an individual to a higher state of integrity, wisdom and exemplary behavior.  Acknowledging the existence of extremism and psychopathy, James opines that, by and large, religious experiences serve the people who have them – and humanity as a whole.

In the end – spoiler alert – James notes that anyone who at least respects human states of consciousness that are not limited to perceptions and knowledge of the physical world may come to recognize that such higher, spiritual states have a role in the evolution of the better world such states generally envision.

 

* The Penguin Classics edition is much better than the one I read first.

Choosing gratitude over self-pity

It's natural to want things, even to yearn for things; to want more and to want it now. 

It's even natural to feel justified - to feel entitled to have what one desires - and to express those feelings or otherwise to reveal them. 

However, particularly in a relationship, while honesty is important, it is at least as important to convey appreciation for what one has rather than to grumble or pout about what one lacks, let alone to blame one's partner for what one lacks.  

It is important to cultivate patience and perspective.

Imagine living with someone who often communicates wanting more, entitlement to more, and frustration or disappointment in not having more - more of anything, let alone more from you, particularly more attention, affection, effort, sex, or money.  

For the success and happiness of a relationship, it is important not to be the person who experiences such a complaining, entitled, frustrated, or blaming partner - and not to be that partner.  

As many have said, life is difficult.*  Not dwelling on self-pity, frustrations and disappointments, but instead cultivating and conveying, in words and deeds, gratitude for what one has is essential to a good life and joyful relationships.

 

* I recommend The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck, M.D. 

Questions for pantheists, and people leaning that way.

If God is everywhere and in every thing, am I merely the vessel or manifestation of God, like the sun, or a cloud, or Mount Everest (or a pebble on it), or an indigo bunting, or an iris, or an octopus, or a kitten - important, even amazing, but unaware (as far as we can tell) of the divinity we see in them and entirely indifferent to human affairs?

Having human consciousness - and conscience - and the belief that God is in me as in every other thing, have I no responsibility for representing God to other people?

Have I no responsibility, as a vessel of holiness perforce of my beliefs, for cherishing and taking care of the share of divinity that is my lot to carry?

Have I no responsibility, except by my choice, for treating other people as I'd like to be treated - as vessels of holiness, as manifestations of God?

Am I so wise, talented or powerful that I see no reason, let alone need, to consult the divinity within me as I make my daily choices, big and small?

Reality Check #24 (the boundaries and call of our values)

In a world seemingly full of self-righteousness and negative judgments about others, what are the boundaries of wholesome living - the boundaries and, within those boundaries, the call of duty of the values we claim?

Are we consistently living within those boundaries, answering that call, and fulfilling those duties?

What do we - citizens in the USA and around the world - do for our society today?

"Recalling the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., [Senator Cory] Booker said that 'the problem today we have to repent for is not just the vitriolic words and violent actions of the bad people, but also the appalling silence and inaction of the good people. This is the time Americans have to step up and let their voices be heard.'” Heather Cox Richardson, May 31, 2025.

Any government officials in the present - or any - White House administration who place opinions before facts, or submission before duty, or power or employment above the rule of law do so selfishly.

Any citizen who approves - explicitly or by acquiescence, by "silence and inaction" - such officials' behavior does so selfishly, daily life being always a constant series of choices, including how we react to discomfort or fear or the prospect of greater discomfort or fear.

It is all right, indeed unavoidable, to be selfish.  Citizens who oppose such officials' behavior, immediately or when the discomfort of "silence and inaction" itself becomes intolerable, do so selfishly, too. Service of anything we value beyond our personal comfort and gain, particularly the survival and improvement of the rule of law - of our experiment in democracy - gives our lives meaning and fulfillment.

The question is what do citizens of the United States - of any nation - who value the rule of law, freedom of speech, equal justice for all, and reasonable stability along the path to societal improvement do today? We do the best we can see to do.  As stated by Prof. Drew Gilpin Faust, "We are not being asked to run into cannon fire. We [at least] need to speak up."  

Choosing to find joy

If you want to experience more joy from the people around you, you can try choosing different people to be with.

But if what you really want is more joy in your life, let go of the belief that joy comes from outside yourself.  Seek joy within by focusing on facts and experiences that move you to gratitude.  Focus not on losses or travails, but on cherished relationships, happy memories, illnesses you or others have been spared, or accidents you have avoided.  For example, rather than dwelling on "my spouse died!", one might focus on "I had many years with a wonderful spouse - who would want me to live fully and joyfully."  

The more often you seek reasons for gratitude and joy within yourself, the more reasons, and the more joy, you will find there.  

And pretty soon you will experience joy in being with so many people it may seem as though they are the source of your joy.