Life and holiness and awareness unfolding

Paying close attention to Life is like living with a snake in the room – and that is a good thing.  More on that in a minute.

Let us try to imagine the scope of the accomplishments resulting from the lives of our fellow human beings, past and present and beyond.

This exercise came to me recently as a guest aboard the USCG Cutter Eagle – “America’s Tall Ship” – as it entered the port of New London, Connecticut, home of the United States Coast Guard Academy. The ninety-year-old ship is a complex and spectacular training vessel for Coast Guard officers.  Having no responsibility other than staying out of the way of the officers and crew, I had plenty of time to observe, to marvel, and to imagine.

Starting with where I was standing, on the deck about two stories above the water line: the Eagle is 90 meters long, 12 meters across (beam), 5.3 meters below water when fully loaded, with 3 masts averaging 43.3 meters and over 2000 square meters of sail area, and I cannot guess how much rope! Turning to its human history, I tried to imagine all the people who, over nine decades under two once-warring governments, designed it – every rivet, plank, mast and pulley – constructed it, and have updated it to keep it seaworthy and secure; all the officers, crew, and trainees on board that day and who have ever sailed it – saluted, climbed, pulled rope, cooked, dined, slept, flirted, steered and kept watch on it.  Then I tried to imagine the places Eagle has been and the conditions it has weathered around the world, in port and at sea, that calm, temperate day off New London being just one point on the very long lines of time and place.

I let my imagination go – and you can easily do this with me: first, imagine zooming out from a few hundred people on a ship to the spirits of the tens of thousands of people who have sailed it; then to encompass all the people in all the buildings – factories, schools, homes - and vehicles we could see from the deck of the ship moving upriver between two cities, people going about their lives; then on beyond those horizons to all of humanity around the world – that day, then going back for 90 years and beyond; then going into the future 90 years and beyond, people – our relatives - building ships, bridges, buildings, roads, vehicles and countless other things in teams, building families, building relationships, sharing joys and miracles, including each birth and all of Nature, and helping each other in times of loss, of natural and man-made disasters, including wars.

Is it possible not to experience a wonder, a holiness, a Holy Spirit at work in every moment of Life?

Now - back to the snake.  “You can give your whole attention only when you care, which means that you really love to understand – then you give your whole heart and mind to find out.  Such awareness is like living with a snake in the room; you watch its every movement, you are very, very sensitive to the slightest sound it makes.  Such a state of attention is total energy; in such awareness the totality of yourself is revealed in an instant.” Freedom from the Known, by Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986), p. 32.

Thanks, Mom!

I got one of my most important and memorable life lessons from my mother on Saturday, August 11, 1962, the day "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do," by Neil Sedaka, hit No.1 on the American "Billboard Hot 100."  I was 13 years old.  I was alone, listening on the radio - as I often did - to the countdown of popular songs in my room at our home in Mount Carmel, Connecticut, USA. I loved that song.  I was thrilled that it was Number One in the nation.  

After listening to the song all the way through, I rushed downstairs to share my joy.  I found my mother in the kitchen.  As I recall, she was calmly moving toward my approach - doubtless alerted by the sound of my clomping feet - wiping her hands on a dish towel.

"Screeching" to a halt in front of her, I yelled, "Mom! Mom! My favorite song just hit Number One!  That means I have good taste!!"

Looking me in the eye calmly and lovingly, she asked, "It does?"

That's the moment I learned that liking what's popular just means I have average taste.  Whether it's good or bad is just an opinion.  

I still love that song, and I still love a lot of popular music - and other things and activities that are popular.  I like things and activities because I love how they make me feel. But how I choose to fit which things I love into my life - whether and how acting on my love for what I love serves me - is personal, experiential - and important.

 

Heaven: a thought experiment

A dear friend of mine believes that, because I have not accepted Jesus as my Savior, he will not see me in Heaven. His belief makes him sad. To him, apparently, whatever Heaven is - a place, a state, a community, an experience? - those who get there do so only after death and by virtue of having believed certain things during life.

I accept that my friend's beliefs are right and true for him. And if, after I die, some disembodied spirit with my identity discovers that there is a Heaven and that I am disqualified from it, so be it: my post-death identity may have no memory of having striven to live up to my blessings in this life, but I am at peace, now, with doing the best I can see to do to be a good person.

Also, my friend's beliefs about Heaven are not the only rational beliefs on the subject. About what happens after death, most of the people on this planet have different beliefs - to which they are as entitled as my friend is to his. Facts are facts, but I think beliefs are an individual matter which should be judged, if at all, by how well they serve the living soul who holds them, and perhaps, too, by how well they serve the believer's community.

So I suggest a thought experiment.  

Suppose the Gospel of Thomas (one of the "Gnostic Gospels" discovered in Egypt in 1945) is correct that Jesus said, "the kingdom of the father is spread out upon the earth, and people do not see it."*  

Suppose "the kingdom of the father" is Heaven, or as close to synonymous as most of us can grasp or imagine.

Suppose we humans in fact do not see Heaven - the kingdom of God - because we cannot: it is within us, each of us, individually.** I cannot see it within myself or within you.  You cannot see it within yourself or within me.

Suppose next that seeing is not the only way to prove that something exists.

Suppose that experiencing something exists is - for the one having the experience - a completely sufficient proof that that thing exists, even if it is impossible to create that experience in another person so as to give them that proof. 

Now imagine the experience of Heaven; of being in Heaven, whether it is a place, a state, a community, or simply an experience.  Your imagination will be as good at this task as anyone else's.  Indeed, out of the billions of people on this planet, how could your imagination of the experience of heaven - change as it may over time - NOT be the one and only conception of Heaven that is most relevant to your life and choices?  

That's the end of the thought experiment: your own imagining - the best you can do - of the experience of Heaven.  I hope it is for you a most wonderful experience - particularly because it may include wonderful things, even unconscious memories, which are unique to your life experience and indescribable to others.

In case my imagining of Heaven may resonate with yours, I will share it: to me, Heaven is the experience that everything - all that I know and all that I do not know - is all right just the way it is.  I do not expect to have that experience except occasionally, briefly, in this life.  Nor do I expect to have that experience much more often, let alone constantly, after I die - wherever or whatever Heaven turns out actually to be!  But I strive to live - particularly to pay attention to Life - so as to have, to savor, and to be grateful for more and more of the experience that everything is all right just the way it is. Love is always present at such moments. And such moments can include experiencing Heaven in others - whether or not, at any given moment, they experience its presence within themselves.

* Gospel of Thomas, saying number 113. 

** See New Testament, Gospel of Luke, Ch. 17, verse 21: "the Kingdom of God is within you." 

Forgetting the Holy Spirit (however named) within

Vacation: "what's the big deal," when one is retired? But this morning my wife and I were preparing for what is a big deal for us: a rare reunion in a distant town with all 4 of her children, all 3 of mine, all 7 wonderful spouses, and all 12 grandchildren. 

I was rushing - busy with tasks that seemed important, including packing. I was anxious about forgetting things. And I was late: not ready when I told my punctual wife I would be. I was cranky, stressed and feeling sorry for myself. I was not good company. 

Once in the car, driving, I reflected on what went wrong. Here's what I realized: I had been trying to do it all - complete pre-departure tasks, avoid failure (to keep my word), be grateful and joyful at the prospect of the reunion - alone. 

I realized that, for relief, for a return to peace, I had only to pause and remember to ask the Holy Spirit (however named) which is within each of us, even me -

"This I am, but Thou please aid me."* 

The response is rarely in ideas, let alone words.

The response is the experience of the presence of grace.

* Quotation from A Testament of Devotion (1941), by Thomas Kelly.

Reality check #26 (Mantra of the moment)

I am doing what I am doing. 

All those other things I could be doing - I am not doing those!

I strive to be conscious of what I am doing and why I prefer doing this rather than that; rather than anything else. 

Moment to moment while conscious, when I do something - be it brave or cowardly, disciplined or lazy, prudent or frivolous, thoughtful or careless, altruistic or self-centered, kind or mean - that action will be my choice, even if I am unaware of the unconscious factors affecting my choice.

I will take responsibility for my choices, including acts of rest, play, and self-care. 

I will strive to be the best citizen, parent, spouse, friend, and neighbor I can see to be.

 

Grace

If you wish grace to come to you, be it.  Act it out. 

It is within you. Always has been. And you cannot help bring it forth for your own peace and joy when you treat other people with grace; when you make of yourself a manifestation of grace, however random and fleeting, to others.

How to see the unconscious mind at work

I am no astronomer, but I understand that black holes - invisible because they emit no light - can be located, and their mass calculated, by degree to which light emitted by other objects is bent by black holes' gravitational fields. I see a metaphor in that phenomenon to our unconscious human minds.

If I perceive something in the outer world or sense something within my body (e.g., tension or hyper-alertness), decide something, do something, or experience something - e.g., all my dreams and any conscious, sudden joy, grief, temptation or yearning - for which I have no clear and objective stimulus or reason, I know my unconscious mind is at work. 

If that seems wrong to you, or for you, think about what part of that metaphor is wrong, and why.

If it seems right, or at least reasonable, I invite you to join me in recognizing the many times and ways our unconscious minds serve us, even guide us. We can cheerfully say, mentally, "Hello, Unconscious! How are you doing? How am I doing? What can you teach me? Let's work together for a fulfilling life!"