Paths to growth through relationship

We often ask, "what do you do?" - a question which conveys nothing about ourselves and is at best a baby step toward relationship.
If, having shared or being willing to share something important to us, we ask, "what is important to you here?", we open the door to friendship.
If we know someone well enough to ask, "what values have served you best?", we convey openness to examining our own values, respect for the other person, and interest in his or her values.  We open a door to growth, of ourselves and of the relationship.
If, having shared or being willing to share questions we ask ourselves, we know someone well enough to ask, "what questions do you ask yourself?", we open the door to both great friendship and great growth.

August 28, 2016

“There is no such thing as a good second-hand religion,” said Dr. Scott Peck, in The Road Less Traveled.  We gather in this safe company and this peaceful place and time to seek, to explore, and to share what is true for us, respectively, about that of God which is in every person.

In considering whether to speak during Meeting for Worship, I do not presume I have God’s authority, let alone instruction, to do so.  There is just an idea or experience, a wish to share it, and a considered belief that doing so may contribute to others’ meditations and to the vitality of this welcoming community of seekers.

Religion and faith being such profoundly personal matters, their essence seems to be the truth as we respectively and as a community perceive it – each bearing our share of responsibility for pursuit of the truth; as we share it; and as we act upon it, with love.

On marriage

The commitment of marriage is ancient.  It is hugely important to those who make it, to their children, family and friends, and to society.  Indeed, it is heroic.  A fundamental conviction of true heroes is, "my comrade, my fellow citizen, or my partner, would have done it for me.”   In marriage, two people declare that that conviction will be lifelong.

What starts as confidence when two people decide to marry becomes over time the knowledge that the more consciously and constantly they seek to represent each other - and the Almighty Spirit in each human being - to the world, the better they, and the world, will be.

In marriage, they each gain not only a partner to live for: they each gain a partner to live up to.

In marriage, every act of self care is an act of care for the other, and for the union.

Though travails are expected in marriage, as in life, their nature and severity rarely is.  In marriage, every bit of the couple’s material preparation for the unexpected and, much more important, every expression of their commitment to their own, each other’s - and, God willing, their children’s - growth of character will sustain their confidence in each other and increase their ability to endure life’s travails.