To find joy, give up self-righteousness.

We all want to feel ALIVE!  To be thrilled.  To feel pure joy.

The simplest way to feel alive is to look around, take in all your senses bring you, let go of negative judgments - of wanting more or different - and seek and find joy and gratitude in the moment.

Self-righteousness kills joy.  If we take responsibility for all of our decisions and judgments - if we strive to bring unconscious judgments and impulses into consciousness and keep only those which serve our most important values - self-righteousness ebbs.  Try it.  I believe you'll see what I mean.

Reality Check #25

Whose judgment of the quality of my life - moment to moment or Big Picture - matters most?

If I yearn for something, who decides whether to learn - to grow - from the yearning or just to feel sorry for myself?

When something is unjust, offensive or painful to me or to others, who can choose to do something to ameliorate the situation rather than focus on "poor me?"

If I specially love how I feel under conditions NOT present, who can decide to accept the present conditions and even to be grateful for them compared to the worse that might be but is not?

Dear reader ... Welcome

Dear reader,

Welcome.  I hope you find something I have written in this blog to be of value.  This is a public journal of thoughts from along my path through Life.  (Though I am a very fortunate and very grateful man, the path has been bumpy at times!  Applying my late mother's favorite saying turns bumps into lessons.)  

I hope to contribute to others' - to your - growth, peace of mind, effectiveness, fulfillment, and joy.  I hope to contribute to your opening yourself to yourself.  To your exploring your deeper self - your subconscious self, your anxious even fearful self, your lonely self, your selfish self [hint: it's ok with me!] and your forgiving self, your compassionate self, your compassionate-to-yourself self.  To your empowerment of your loving self.  Just the thought that I might do so brings me fulfillment and joy.

I started this blog, with thoughts going back to the late 1970's, in June of 2013.  Most page visits are from countries other than the USA.  Though being a judge was one reason for not enabling comments to my posts, and I am now only a retired judge, I have still not enabled comments because I do not write to initiate correspondence.  (I'm working on a novel infused with some of the perspectives posted here and, at age 77, I had better work faster on that!)  Readers who like what they read here may return, "follow" this blog, and sometimes share their experience of value here with others.  I am grateful for that and invite visits to my other writings.*  Visitors who don't see value here will just stop reading and not return.  I wish them well.  The holiness in every person does not require us to agree!

To each of my readers: may your kindnesses come back to you every day! 

Leeland Cole-Chu

* https://afriendsthoughts.substack.com/p/what-will-we-americans-do-to-preserve our democracy?
https://www.threads.net/@leeland.cole_chu
https://afriendsthoughts.medium.com/reality-checks-about-personal-growth-and-responsibility-3a7be22695ac

November 30, 2025

This morning a few of us gathered for breakfast and listened to part of last month’s Woolman Hill Quarterly Meeting talk by Diane Randall, General Secretary Emerita of Friends Committee for National Legislation.  It was refreshing to be reminded by her that “we are not called to be successful.  We are called to be faithful.”

Our experiences and beliefs of What, or Who, calls to us, guides us — God, Jesus, Allah; a Holy Spirit however named — will differ, as of course will our experiences of what we are called to do from moment to moment.  But Diane Randall’s invitation to ask ourselves, at the beginning of each day, “What am I called to do today?” is simple, wholesome, wise and, despite the different answers we will get, unifying — as is her invitation to ask ourselves at the end of the day, however our actions followed or diverged from our calling, “Have I been faithful?”

Becoming an agent of holy grace.

Many people who believe in God - a Higher Power, however named - including people who are loving, kind, diligent and conscientious - seem to discount what I see as their roles as agents of holy grace and to believe that God has complete responsibility for what happens in the world, down to the events and their outcomes of individual humans' lives.

There is, of course, much in Life that is beyond even collective human control.  Yet, like cells in the body of Life, each of us has a purpose which we live out through our moment-to-moment choices. 

There is a Sufi story, the essence of which is that God sent each of us to do the best we can see to do to care for each other: to be agents of divine grace.

When one accepts this holy agency, particularly publicly, it becomes hard to deny or diminish.  Indeed, I believe that people who accept this spiritual agency - to which no organized religion is necessary - immediately see opportunities to represent love and grace everywhere.

More, this holy agency is its own reward, for it brings great motivation, peace, comfort, and joy.

Try it!  You'll like it!

Sustaining hope

At a recent Quaker gathering, I was reminded of a saying attributed to Mother Teresa: "We are not called to be successful.  We are called to be faithful."  When success appears to elude us, even to have eluded us for years, to the point of darkening hope and joy, it seems wise to examine our personal definition of success.

What is success to me - in life, and in this day?  Do I think that I have not succeeded in life, even in this one day of life, unless I have accomplished specific tasks or received some kind of recognition?  If I often fail, this day and in my life's trajectory, is that just a cycle of judgment, even self-righteousness?  ("See how tough I am on myself!")

When we miss the mark, do we tend to give up - or do we learn and grow?

Is it not enough to choose our daily or hourly goals, our moment-to-moment attitude, and our actions - including self care - consciously and in the greatest service of our values and priorities that is given to us to perceive?

Is it not enough to do the best we can see to do?

For those who believe there is a holy Spirit within, does that Spirit require of us more than the best we can see to do?  If not, how can the best we can see to do not be good enough for us to find peace at the end of our day, our year, or our life?

For those who experience being called by a holy Spirit within ourselves to serve Life - humanity, one's family, neighbors or nation, or ecosystems and other living things - as best we can see to do each day, discouragement will come.  But that calling, that agency, that mission, can inoculate us from loss of hope. It can even infuse us with energy, even joy, to pursue the best we can see to do.

August 10, 2025

 Yesterday I attended the funeral mass for a dear friend who was an Episcopalian Bishop and writer of lyrics of hymns of praise. The rituals of worship, gratitude and inspiration at Hartford's Christ Church Cathedral, home to a parish going back to 1762, were ancient, beautiful, and eloquent.

We Quakers have rituals, too.  We don't have processions, vestments, holy communion, smoke, music, or choirs. We sit here in our quiet, different way of worshipping, and seeking a deeper relationship with, and commitment to, that of God within ourselves, each other, and people everywhere.

Ultimately, though, as expressed by a holy person of yet another faith, Baba Ram Dass, "we're all just walking each other home."