How much does it matter to me how the person with me - stranger on the street or on the telephone; acquaintance at work; reader of my writing; my colleague, friend, child or spouse - feels?
How much does it matter to me how this person feels as a result of her or his interaction with me?
How do I want this person to feel after this interaction? Why? Have I acted accordingly? Why or why not?
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Reality check #1
Have I done the best I could see to do today? This week? In this relationship? In this endeavor? In my life?
Have I consistently striven to see more clearly what my options are, in action and in attitude?
Have I consistently striven to see more clearly the effects of my choices - what has worked and what has not, and why?
What do my choices reveal about my thoughts? About my values? Have I put my values ahead of my impulses?
What of my actions or behaviors are so automatic, so compulsive, that they seem not to be matters of choice? That I avoid analyzing them, or have given up analyzing them, their origins, and whether or not they serve me?
Have I consistently striven to see more clearly what my options are, in action and in attitude?
Have I consistently striven to see more clearly the effects of my choices - what has worked and what has not, and why?
What do my choices reveal about my thoughts? About my values? Have I put my values ahead of my impulses?
What of my actions or behaviors are so automatic, so compulsive, that they seem not to be matters of choice? That I avoid analyzing them, or have given up analyzing them, their origins, and whether or not they serve me?
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Queries about taking sides in conversation
Am I being asked to take sides between two people or between two or more groups of people?
Why am I being asked to do that? For my benefit or for the benefit of one of the disputants? Or for the belittling or loss of another of the disputants?
Do I want to take one side in the dispute?
Why? Why am I tempted to do that?
Do I really want to do that? Will peace be served, or will relationships be strengthened by my taking one side over the other?
On what basis should I decide whether or not to take one side over the other, or others? Will I just be avoiding discomfort - or choosing one discomfort over another?
On what basis do I choose one side over another?
On what basis should I choose one side over another?
Might I learn a lot more by not taking sides and by just listening to the disputants' perspectives?
Might I gain more by restraining my self-righteousness - not taking sides - and by seeking reconciliation?
Why am I being asked to do that? For my benefit or for the benefit of one of the disputants? Or for the belittling or loss of another of the disputants?
Do I want to take one side in the dispute?
Why? Why am I tempted to do that?
Do I really want to do that? Will peace be served, or will relationships be strengthened by my taking one side over the other?
On what basis should I decide whether or not to take one side over the other, or others? Will I just be avoiding discomfort - or choosing one discomfort over another?
On what basis do I choose one side over another?
On what basis should I choose one side over another?
Might I learn a lot more by not taking sides and by just listening to the disputants' perspectives?
Might I gain more by restraining my self-righteousness - not taking sides - and by seeking reconciliation?
Can or will?
One of my favorite questions is, "What of God can I bring to this moment?"
Reconciling that question with my principle of basic selfishness, I am humbled to see that the real question is, "What of God am I willing to bring to this moment?"
Reconciling that question with my principle of basic selfishness, I am humbled to see that the real question is, "What of God am I willing to bring to this moment?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)