Reality check #19

Doesn't your and my individuality - your literal uniqueness and my literal uniqueness - make us special enough?  

Is my uniqueness not enough to give me - and others - confidence that I am different from every other person and no less inherently important and valuable than any other person?

If my uniqueness is not enough to give me confidence that - background, aptitudes, training and experience aside - I am no less inherently important or valuable than anyone else, what deficiency or deficiencies do I perceive in myself?  Where did my perception of that deficiency or those deficiencies come from?  Why and how much do my perceived deficiencies matter?

Background, aptitudes, training and experience again aside, do I assume that other people have fewer, or less significant, deficiencies than I do, so I have to compensate, or compete to be as special - preferably more special - than others?  

If I feel that way - isn't that essentially a feeling of insecurity?  Where did that come from?

Do I have to fix all my perceived deficiencies to accept myself?  

Might it work better to fix myself by accepting my perceived deficiencies?  

Might it work better to accept myself as I am - to love myself, while accepting I still have lots to learn - and to focus on my strengths and my opportunities to grow and contribute?

When I don't want to learn ...

When I don't want to think about or discover what I could learn from the present moment - that I can be kind or patient longer, find more goodness and depth in other people, find in myself new ways to contribute, find beauty in new places, or find renewed joy - is it because my self care demands rest?  Or is it because I'm feeling self-righteousness or lazy?

Spirit and sport

To me, sports have a spiritual dimension.  Living Life in the moment; forming and changing aspirations; finding the motivation to train, to do the hard work of growth; facing one's limits - and seeing them change; finding, cultivating, and learning to trust instincts; building connections with teammates, coaches, even adversaries; cultivating responsibility for one's choices and mistakes; discovering, if one is lucky, mystery; cultivating gratitude; accepting one's results, elating or disappointing - and doing it all again and again. I suspect these spiritual moments are common in all seriously pursued sports.

My favorite sport is sculling. Being present - including attention to balance, technique, steering, and care of self and boat - are key.  Technique is much aided by training, by muscle memory. You try to avoid mistakes - but you learn from those, too.  Rest is important: overdoing training is counter-productive.  And, no matter your pace, the boat's wake and the bubbles from the oars' puddles are soon gone.  But growth remains.  And joy and gratitude, if you pay attention to the blessings of health, the beauty of one’s surroundings - the sky, the water, the trees and and clouds – and the freedom to be part of it all.

November 20, 2022

Holy Spirit, please help me to cultivate awareness of your constant presence, lest I unconsciously cultivate anxiety.

Help me consciously cultivate patience, lest I unconsciously cultivate stress.

Help me consciously cultivate gratitude, lest I unconsciously cultivate entitlement.

Help me consciously cultivate love, lest I unconsciously cultivate judgment.

Am I disciplined enough to relax?

Self care includes rest and relaxation.

Living busy lives in a busy and complex world, it is easy to neglect self care in general, and rest in particular.  Just as an athlete can over-train, people who seek to learn and grow can over-train - can neglect the rest and relaxation needed for learning and growth, and for the health, joy and fulfillment that is the point of it all.

Am I disciplined enough to relax?  To give my mind and body enough rest?  To accept that there is a healthful limit to what I can do right now, or today?

Gratitude or entitlement?

If I fail to cultivate gratitude, am I not unconsciously cultivating its opposite: a sense of entitlement?

Reality check #18

How do I discern when life is good? 

How do I discern when my life is good?

Is my life only good when everything that matters to me is good?  

Would I want my performance as a parent, or at work, or in a relationship, or as a citizen to be judged by that standard?