I am not the light.
But I can seek the light. When I think I see the light, even as reflected by others, I can do my best to keep it in sight and in mind, to get closer to it, and to use the light to guide my decisions and actions.
And I can do my best to reflect the light to others.
Being easily amused is its own reward. All we need to do to be easily amused is to let go of the sense of entitlement to standards of amusement - sources of pleasure, relaxation, laughter, peace and joy - which are rarely and less easily met. Simple to say; not so simple to do. But, like so many other habits, this letting go gets easier with practice.
Friends, I am honored by visits to this blog from many countries. I thank you for visiting https://afriendsthoughts.blogspot.com/
My local newspaper – The Day, of New London, Connecticut, USA – recently, but only briefly, gave me space in one of its publications for an advice column entitled “A Friend’s Thoughts.” For business reasons, that publication and the column ended - but the thought remains with me: so I invite letters in the English language, by email to leelandcolechu@gmail.com from anyone, anywhere, who thinks I might have a useful perspective on a difficult or puzzling situation.
If, and whenever, someone writes to me for my thoughts, whatever the subject, I will do my best to convey my understanding that we are equals who can learn from one another. However, I will be writing for free and I have no staff: I cannot promise to reply to every letter, let alone to reply as quickly as the writer might like.
I am a fortunate and happy 75-year-old man. I have been a husband, father, attorney, mediator, judge and, of course, a friend for decades. I have made many mistakes and experienced failure, regret, and loss – and tried to learn from each of those. In striving to be a good person, I ask myself a lot of questions about personal responsibility and spirituality. (For examples, please search on “reality check” in this blog.) Any reply to a letter requesting my thoughts will always and only be as someone who reads, and replies, as a friend – never as a lawyer, psychotherapist, or other professional or expert. In my response to any submission, I will likely suggest more questions than answers, aiming to contribute to the clarity, empowerment, resilience, and peace of mind of the who write to me.
I will set up a public, online archive for what I write in response to the letters I receive, but I cannot promise that every submission to which I reply will be published. If you write to me, you implicitly and irrevocably convey me and to any editor or publisher of any collection of my writings, the right to edit your letter for clarity and brevity; you grant me and all publishers of my work an unlimited, unqualified license to publish your letter, as is, or as edited, in any format (in a blog, book, or podcast, for example); and you disclaim any compensation for writing me, for the content of your letter, or for your letter being published with my reply.
Wishing all of you, my readers, health, peace and fulfillment, I thank you again.
Leeland Cole-Chu
"If you look on everyone you meet as a holy person, you will be happy." So says the holy man in the wonderful novel of that title, by Susan Trott.
This morning, to expand on that wonderful aphorism, I think that, to connect with that of God in another person, we should seek and discern something the other person is praying for, consciously or not; something they want or need. We should discover and be willing to share - be vulnerable enough to share - that we, too, have wants and needs for which we have been praying, intentionally or unconsciously. And then, mindful that we and the other person both have wants and needs, we can offer with love, and strive in appropriate ways, to meet one or more of the other person's unmet wants or needs. Not a word need be spoken.
The future of humanity is the sum of what we, collectively, do now, and now, and again now - until tomorrow becomes today.
At the individual level, the future is the sum not of our ambitions or wishes for tomorrow or next year. The future is the sum of what we actually create each day with the resources at hand.
When it comes to choosing from among the resources at hand, who would intentionally make a future without a lot of love in it? And there's a bonus: the cost of love - what we give up to create and nourish love - is fear, judgment, and self-righteousness, the reduction of which also fosters joy and peace.
Am I paying attention to the distinction between facts and perspectives?
In this situation, what are the relevant, objective facts?
What is my perspective on the facts?
What are key others' perspectives on the facts?
Am I doing my best to understand and honor others' perspectives, and others' right to their perspectives?
The crossroad: I feel needy, yearning for something, sorry for myself.
That way: ignore good things → focus on need or yearning, on “if only,” on blame of others → feel entitled, self-righteous, stuck → feel cranky, frustrated → find fatigue, conflict, misery.
This way: remember that I’ve been here before → remember one good thing, then another → think how easily and quickly life could be much, much worse → focus on good things → remember good things about people → focus on good things about people, not on blame → remember good feelings from looking outward, gratitude, compassion → cultivate gratitude and compassion → find joy and peace. No circumstance has changed except my awareness and my focus, but life is good again.